Sooooo... I am pregnant. Just thought I'd say it in the beginning so it wouldn't be any guessing as to why I've neglected my blog. I found out right after my blog post, "Didn't You Just Start Blogging?" Talk about surprised and shocked!! Here are my top 5 feelings I felt when I found out I was pregnant... again.
I just knew the test was wrong. "I must have picked up a faulty test at the dollar store... maybe I should have brought the $16 test from Walgreen's. Those are more reliable. " I actually went and brought one of those EPT test and of course, I got the same results. That didn't stop me from taking more test. I took a total of 6 tests, from different stores and all showed the same thing: PREGNANT.
P.S. The dollar store brand pregnancy tests work very well!
You know that feeling when you're on a rollercoaster and it gets to the top and it stops...you hear the clicks, then you suddenly drop going 100+mph? That sinking feeling in your stomach? Yeah, that's what I felt after seeing the results. I have a son who will be turning 2 years old in April and I immediately thought about how he was going to feel. Will he feel left out or jealous seeing another baby in the home? My thoughts ran rapid in my head... how can we afford another baby? It's already tough raising one... now two?? Now, we have to find another place to live to accommodate another little human being. WHOA!
In my first trimester, I struggled with mixed emotions and kept my feelings to myself. I didn't know how to be excited when I still felt confused about how I was going to tell my family and how they were going to feel. I didn't know if I was going to ever feel excited because I simply didn't have the thoughts of happiness, just the mind set of struggling to take care of another baby.
I have to be honest... I was so angry with myself, my child's father... just the whole situation, really. This was a HUGE curveball that turned my life around...again. I was also angry because I knew I wasn't ready for another child and didn't take the precautions necessary to prevent another pregnancy. You know another thing I was angry about?? My clothes not fitting anymore! I struggled to find clothes my last pregnancy. When I lost all the baby weight, I got into jean sizes that I had not been in since I was in high school! :) AND of course...... No ALCOHOL!!! OH LAWD!! Not that I was a big drinker, but I looooved my Daiquiris and Margaritas.
After having these emotions, I began to remember how it felt when I was pregnant with my son. All the little kicks, punches and hiccups I felt made me happy all over again. I am lucky. I know a lot of women are not able to have children and I am truly blessed to have this chance at motherhood again.
There are reasons things happen in our lives... maybe we feel as those it happened at the wrong time, or we just don't feel prepared, but things will fall in place the way its supposed to be in due time.
If you have kids or you're expecting right now, what were your feelings about finding out you were pregnant?
Until next time!!