A Letter To My Younger Self

15-16 years old

15-16 years old

Dear younger self,

Stop what you're doing. You know you don't have to be with him, right? Trust me. He never had great intentions for you. The day he cowardly broke up with you through a letter saying, "I can love you one day, just not today", should have been your exit, but I understand, you're 14 years old. You're willing to compromise and try to make him love you. Don't. *Sigh* and yes, you wasted 5 more months of your life on him, but I am proud that you realized he wasn't good enough, but I wish your self esteem wasn't damaged in the process.

Your two best friends! They made high school so much fun and a reason to get up in the morning! Right now, you three are inseparable, always going to football games to watch our crushes play and playing on the basketball team together. Today, you guys haven't seen each other in months, with one of them, its been a year. We text, but honestly it needs to be more.

Yeah, Mom and Dad are right. As hard as you tried not to believe, they know what's best for you. Dad wants you to be a strong woman when you grow up. He wants you to be able to have your own without having to depend on any man or anyone. You love the random fishing trips you take with him and that was always a great time to talk about life. Listen to him in all the lessons he speaks.  Unfortunately, the time is limited with him.

Mom, Me and Dad after my Volleyball game

Mom, Me and Dad after my Volleyball game

So this new boyfriend.. One of the 'popular' basketball players. It seems fitting because you are a fairly known basketball player as well, so it was like a match made in Heaven. He really has you floating on a cloud. He knows just the right words to make you melt. You dismiss his random acts of jealousy as a sign of strong affection for you. He really "loves" you. The first girl that you heard about was right. He was with her, but you just knew he wasn't lying to you. Another sign that you should have ended things, but being the compromising person you are, you stayed. Girl #2,3 and 4... You now see the truth. But know this: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Don't make him make you think it was your fault. He is the asshole. Yes, I know this relationship hurts to end because you had already planned in your head a future together and you were in love with him.  But I know what you're going to say:

Age 16: I really do love him. I know we are supposed to be together! No one will like me the way he did. I just want him to love me like I love him. I don't want to be with anyone else!

Present Day 2016: You dodged a HUGE bullet! The "future" you saw together would have been all struggle and frustration. He is not trying to do anything with his life, except smoke weed and watch TV all day. No hard feelings, though. You saw each other one day at the gas station while getting gas. You said hello and hoped everything was going well with him, and that was that!

To you, my younger self, At times, you can not compromise. Period. Live your life before you find yourself regretting what you didn't do. Life will have its victories and failures, but as long as you learn from these life experiences and honestly realize what will bring you happiness, your life will be beautiful. NEVER let anyone make you feel like you're not good enough. You're absolutely more than good, you're great!

 If you had the opportunity to go back in time, what would you tell your younger self?